Total Drama Wipeout!
by DIM666 - Insane Leader
Summary: 24 original Total Drama contestants. 100,000 Dollars...and 4 killer courses? What's the worst that could happen? Based off the reality TV show 'Wipeout! Episode one: Qualifier.


So, who wants a new story? *Hardly anyone raises their hands* Good. This is a cross-over between Total Drama and the reality show called 'Wipeout'.

24 teens. 100,000 Dollars! Only one can win it! HERE WE GO!

"My name is Chris McLean…"

"And my name is Chef Hatchet."

"And we want to introduce you to Total Drama Wipeout!" The duo shouts together. "Here, Our original 24 Total Drama Teenagers will go running through 4 obstacle courses to grab the 100 grand that Owen forfeited in Season one!"

"We have 24 Maggots to start this out!"

"Yep. In order of Elimination in Total Drama Island, and then the two newer contestants afterwards. But before we get into introductions, let's show you the qualifier course!"

-Envision a qualifier course as I describe it-

"You start at the starting point, run down a small, yet steep incline, then hang a right. After hanging that right, you run several yards to hang a left. After that, you hike up a set of blue stairs, then have to run across the chicken lickin'!"

"Ah yes. Good ole' chicken. Just like how we had them in the military. Burnt chickens will be thrown at you from the right side, while frying pans will shoot out of holes on the left side wall. Whoever makes it across has a break, then another small sprint to the Stair climbers!"

"And Chef, the Stair climbers will collapse after a certain amount of weight is pressed on them. The stairs are all 3 feet high, and there are 7 of these stairs. The poundage tollerance is…75 pounds, 120 pounds, 250 pounds, 15 pounds, 156 pounds, 180 pounds, and the last one only has a tolerance of 100 pounds. If they end up making it impossible to go up these stairs, they'll have to go out and around a long way to get to where they could of just walked it up on the stairs."

"Serves the shrimps right. Then, they'll run on a conveyor belt, and jump off of it onto some big red balls…"

"…With MY face on it!" Chris beamed, as did the images he had on the balls.

"…And after that go to the Spin-push"

"And on the Spin-Push, they have to jump into a small tube, sliding downward vertically, then run out of a gun like tube turrent that revolves back and forth at a 33 degree angle. If they jump out at the right time with the right velocity, they'll land in the Safe zone. If not, they'll fall 10 feet into water, and will have to swim and additional 50 to make it to the secondary Safe Zone."

-Remember the previous envisioning.-

"And Only the 12 fastest times move on to the next course!"

"Yes-sir-ee Chef! I'm excited! You excited?"

"I'm excited alright!"

"My hopeless contractually obligated kids will be going through more pain today then they have in all previous three seasons combined! First up is Ezekiel!"

The took wearing home-schooler put an index finger in the air. "Yo-yo-yo! This year's winner is in the house!"

"Blainely has more words with Zeke."

-Interview by Blainely with Zeke-

"So Zeke, how does it feel to be able to win this?"

"I'm excited! I'm really excited! Dude, I'm so going to go hom-e on you all and take it all for myself man!" He then digs a finger up his nose.

"Well, That's three of us that are excited then Zeke!" Chris remarks.

The bell then rang for Ezekiel's run. The home-schooler ran around the opening parts with a breeze, only as he came to the Chicken lickin…

"Man! Zeke's getting pummeled by those things! Look at all the…He grabbed one and it using it as a blimy shield!"

"That's original, but ain't going to last." Chef called on cue as a frying pan came out and smacked him in the face, and he fell into the mud on his right side, wind knocked out of him. Soon he came back though, and was running again! By the time he got to the stair-climbers, he rubbed his nose, sneezing, then jumped over the first stair and onto the second one. It held his weight, and he climbed onto the third one, then the fourth. His day would have ended with the fourth one had he not hung onto the fifth stair, and after almost half a minute of struggling, he managed to pull himself onto the 5ht stair. He Jumped the 6th stair, and the 7th one collapsed also, but he was prepared, and heaved himself up.

"Thing was Chef, he spent so much time heaving himself up…He's already taken nearly three minutes!" The home-schooler then ran down the conveyer belt, and as he jumped off the belt and cleared the first big ball he screamed "BIG BALLS!" Only to face-plant himself on the Third ball, and fall into the water.

-Replay-

"Dude, That is just awesome! His tongue is sticking in the air, it gets smashed, and as he hits it, the rest of his body arcs over his head like a…"

"Like the Striking Scorpions!"

"Yeah Chef! Like the Striking Scorpions!"

-End replay-

"Zeke is now over 4 minutes, and he is trying desperately to get into the spin-push. He fits in well, and begins running out without any-pre-empted plan, but unexpectedly, a huge boxing glove shoots out of the base of the turrent behind Zeke, and pushes him out!"

"Yep! That's the 'push' part of the spin-push!" Chef commented.

"And with that Ezekiel only finishes with a time of 4 minutes, 32 and a half seconds! Blainely, our next contestant?"

-Blainely's interview with Eva-

"So…what do you like doing?"

"Lifting weights, Kick-boxing, Gym classes, and-"

"So, anything that's body building."

"Yeah!"

"How many pounds can you lift?"

Eva jumps off the platform with the interview, runs over to a medium-sized tree, and yanks it out of the ground, roots and all. She then slams it into the ground.

"Wow. So as Eva goes off, our Iron Woman is off to a terrifyingly fast start!"

"And the chickens aren't even affecting her!" Chef shouted. "Neither is the Frying pans!"

"Wow! She makes it across, and it holding a burnt chicken in one hand, yanking the bones out of it and already eating it! Poor thing!"

"But now she comes up to the Stair climbers!" Chef greedily rubbed his hands.

Eva leaped over the first 4, and landed on the 5th one…which sunk under her weight. "Wedged between a rock and a hard place, she actually punches into the foam, and throws it to the side. Then she ditches' the second step, then using her deadly sharpened fingernails, begins climbing up the wall and is on top!" The narcissistic host proclaims.

"But despite that impressive show of strength, she is slightly behind Ezekiel's time!"

"No matter! She come to the Big-balls, clears the first three of the five, then pops a hole in the fourth one as she lands in it, and falls into the water!"

-Replay-

"I don't think I've even seen a ball pop before Chef!"

"Me neither! She just stomps the air out of it!"

"Maybe we should of made this course metal, 'cause she is just tearing this place up!"

-End replay-

Leaping into the spin-push, she began running outward, but all that came out was her flying in the air, clearing the water and just barely over-shooting the safe platform, and she had to settle for second best. As she got down there, she yanked the belt off of Blainely's waist that she was un-characteristically wearing, and sheared it with her teeth, completing a time of 3:41:18

"Next up is Noah!"

-Blainely's interview with Noah-

"So how is this like to be here Noah?"

"…erm, okay I guess. Although I'll probably not win it." Blainely frowned at this.

"So Noah, off to a medium-paced start, but as soon as he gets to the chicken liken, get SANDWICHED!"

-Replay-

"Yep! The largest chicken we had came flying across and jams him in the right cheek, pinning him against the wall just as a frying pan came out and smacked his left cheek!"

"That's a Burnt Chicken and (Book) worm sandwich! Very popular in Vietnam!" Chef commented.

-End replay-

"Noah, already up to the balls, jumps, clears the first one, lands feet first on the second one…but the vibrations of the excited balls makes him fall off!" The bookworm then swam to the Spin-Push, but was shot out of it by the pusher. He had the wind knocked out of him as he landed on the ground, and completed the track, after regaining his breath, with a 6 minutes and 54 second time.

"In fact, not very many of our contestants have done so good at that Spin-Push at all!"

As he says that, the screen shows Justin getting shot into a foam coated supporting barrier face-first. Then, Katie just jumps out of it, plain screwing up, and then Tyler lands on the safe-zone, but only by chance and landing in the…happy place first while performing the splits."

-Blainely's interview with Izzy-

"So, Izzy, what's your chances?"

"Oh! Great! I've completed worse courses while escaping the RCMP while self-applying a tattoo! See, look! It's two interlocked female symbols to show my support for split-personalities!"

"Well, our Nutsie girl seems to be handling it fine. She just ducks and leaps over every frying pan and chicken in sight, then gymnastically swinging over every other fall step. At the big Balls…She takes some time to bounce around on the third one, then springing onto the fourth one…and then jumps onto the fifth one, which by vibration forces her off!"

"Yeah, and…OH MYGOSH!"

"SHE'S NOT WEARING A SKIRT! IT MUST HAVE FALLEN OFF IN THE WATER!"

Indeed it did, so while she was content in running about with everything below her navel in her birthday suit, a black bar with a yellow word saying 'censored' on it followed her, covering her lower female attributes. Going to the Spin-push she intentionally missed the main safe zone while landing on the Secondary one, setting a time just under 2 minutes with a minute and 51 seconds.

"Behind her is Cody. He thinks that BBQ is the king of all chip flavors, and says that along with a bunch of BBQ chips, he'll try to win Gwen over. Good luck with that man, and he's not having anything of the sort. He can't seem to get to the second stair as the first one collapsed, and he's not able to jump to the next one."

"Finally the gay geek decides on giving it up, he climbs up the ladder, then runs to the balls, but twists his foot as he leaped out, and was limping the rest of the course, making a time worse then Noah's even!"

"Wow Chef. That's pretty sad. Next on the course it Beth, but she is just tripping all over the place…and she lands on the first ball, and falls into the water, and is drawing a line across her neck. She's forfeited!"

"After her comes Sadie…But it looks as if she makes the same errs Katie did. Trying to block the chickens while getting knocked out by frying pans, flattens the 4th and 5th stairs so she'll have to take the ladder, and when she finally gets to the spin-push, she just jumps out of it. Her time mirrors that of her illegit twin to the split-second."

"And now…Blainely had more on Courtney!"

-Blainely's interview with Courtney-

"So, You're a CIT, a Class A plus, and think you can win it?"

"Beyond that. I know I can win it!"

"Well, Courtney's impressive enough as she is, but fails to even get by the chicken-lickin course without getting some lickins form the chickens and pans!" Then, she easily clambered over the stairs, clearing the first two big balls, fell into the water, and at the spin-push, she was knocked head-first into the railing on the left side of the safe zone, but she completed the course by walking slowly, gingerly, to the secondary safe-zone with a time of 3:14:41

After that was Harold, and he completed all the course in a breeze. A time of 2:59:51 for him. Following that was Trent. He only did half-way descent, finishing it off at 3:38:81. His decision to wait 9 seconds and only avoid 9 chickens hurt him the most.

"Bridgette! She's off now, and gets nailed by the chickens, and that ends her chicken-lickin setting!" Chef exclaimed.

"Heaving herself over the stairs without to much problem, she makes it, and keeps it going! But the balls provide a hell of a problem! ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR punch set form the balls!"

-Replay-

She leaps off the conveyor, clears the first ball, and face-plants into the second one. As she does, her body bounces backwards into the first one, launching her back into the second one, which knocked her back into the first before she just fell into the water.

"Man. No one can survive the balls!" Chris commented

-End replay-

"IN the end, a time of 3:18:45 seconds! Not to bad, unlike our next few…"

Lindsey proceeded to get slammed in the gut with a frying-pan, and that knocked the wind clean out of her. DJ went, but landed on the second big ball, and began bouncing several feet in the air on it, not getting anywhere but up…and down, until finally he landed in the water after almost a minute of bouncing about. Geoff's run was just as fast as Bridgette's, but that was because he only made one err, at the start, as he was running a pan hit him in the Kiwis. LeShawnna's climb up the stairs, but all of them collapsed under her except the 250 one, which she tried holding onto, but slipped off and landed on her back.

"Now we have Duncan…"

-Blainely's interview with Duncan-

"So, what do you do with your life beside get piercings?"

"I hotwire cars and steal them, along with heavy duty work outs."

"Duncan's run is amazing! He just punches the stuffing out of the chickens and crushed the pans. Then to the stairs, he pulls out a pocket-knife…hey, didn't we strip-search him! Regardless, he is able to make it onto the conveyor belt, leaps off, clears the first 3 balls, jumps off the fourth one, clears the fifth, and lands right at the Spin-push's entrance, where he hops in and perfectly times it, being only the second contestants *Tyler* to land on the primary safe zone."

"Chris, that was a long sentence."

"But a short run, just 55 seconds! Not even a minute!"

Heather was next, and she did almost the exact same thing as Duncan did, but wasn't able t use the balls or land on the primary safe zone, and she also settled for secondary safe zone with a time of 2:37:14

"Gwen is up next!"

Blainely was intimidated by the Goth, so she didn't even bother interviewing her. Gwen took off, but was nailed at least once at every run, and at the big balls, belly flopped onto the second one, springing off of that one and landing on her back on the third one, then sliding off of that into the water. Subsequently, her shot in the Spin-Push was slightly off, clearing the entire course as the boxing glove shot her out, and she landed just right beside the secondary safe zone, which she gladly took, setting a time of 3:07:08

-Blainely's interview with Owen-

"What do you like to do Owen?"

"Eat food, make friends, burp, fart, things like that! And I'm ready for it baby! WHOO-HOO!"

"Owen's run is okay, but he is actually…WTF?"

"Is that kid eating the chickens?"

"Yeah he is Chef! He truly, honestly is!"

"Wow. Well, after filling his belly, he lumbers over to the stair climber, where every one collapses, so he has to go up the ladder, and after leaping off the conveyor belt"

"MOMMMA!"

"Clears all the balls by jumping to far to the left, and lands in the water."

"He's fatigued, and just slowly lumbering up to the push-spin."

"And is pushed out of the push-spin by our glove, and inexorably makes it to the line…at a time of 8:18:08. Bad."

"Now we have Sierra."

"OHMYGODIAMSOLOLOVERTHIS!"

"What did she just say Chef?" His assistant commentator just shrugs. "Well, as we are out of chickens due to Owen, She had to avoid just the pans, but doesn't seem to have any problems with that."

In fact, she cart-wheeled herself over the stairs, then ran off the conveyor belt, landing on the first ball, but after jumping off of it she cleared the second one and missing the third one, slipping between them, and landing in the water.

"After finally completing that, it's only 3:31:17 Not to bad."

"Lastly is Alejandro." The Mexican Canadian stands there with his shirt off, smiling to the cameras, then running after it. Instantly however, his pride leads to his fall as he tired to run across the pan-shooting wall, and got ka-panned in the side, landing in the mud. Then, he tries his luck at the stairs…to no avail. Hell, once he leaps off the belt, he misses the balls completely like Owen did, and only misses the primary safe-zone by several yards.

"Okay…Let's tally this up." Chef commented as Alejandro wearily collapsed on the secondary safe-zone.

"The contestants that will be moving on to the next round will be Izzy the psycho hose beast, Duncan the Delinquent, Tyler the unlucky jock, Heather the Queen bee, Courtney the Class A CIT, Justin the eye candy, Gwen the Goth, Eva the bodybuilder, Ezekiel the home-schooler, Harold the mad skillz holder, Sierra the sugar addicted stalker, and Trent the Nine Obsessed." Chris commented. "So we've cut our field in half. Next time, we'll Split that half in half, and in half again, and the remaining three will tackle each other to the finals! See you then only here on TOTAL DRAMA WIPEOUT!

Yes. Not my best work. But still do leave feedback at least!


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